Friday, January 27, 2012

Police Dog

A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. "Well," says the personnel director, "You'll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute."

Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute.

"Also," says the director, "You must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course."

This perfect canine specimen finishes the course in record time.

"There's one last requirement," the director continues; "you must be bilingual."

With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says, "Meow!"

Friday, January 20, 2012

Kissing a Nun

Kissing a Nun
A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see if you qualify. #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"

The nun says "OK, pull into the next alley."

He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a costume party."

Not That Different

Id much rather have AIDS than a baby... Theyre not that different at all. Theyre both expensive, you have them for the rest of your life, theyre constant reminders of the mistakes youve made and once you have them, you pretty much can only date other people who have them.

Monday, January 16, 2012

You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K

A wife asked her husband to describe her …..

He said, ‘You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K’.

She said, ‘What does that mean?’

He said: Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot’.


She said: ‘Oh that’s so lovely. What about I, J, K ?

He said: I‘m Just Kidding…!!!