Friday, February 18, 2011

Reasons while never visit a rich friend

Once while visiting a very rich friend, the maid approached and.....

Question : "What would you like to have..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea,
Chocolate, Capuccino, Frapuccino,or Coffee?"

Answer: " Tea please"

Question : " Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea,Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Iced tea or green tea ?"

Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?

Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, or fresh cream?

Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat's milk, or cow's milk"

Answer: "With cow's milk please.

Question: " Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer: " Um, I'll just take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"

Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar?"

Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White, brown or yellow sugar?"

Answer: "Forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water, tap water or distilled water? "

Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"

Answer: "I think I'll just die of thirst

Thursday, February 17, 2011

An engineer and a programmer

A programmer and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from Los Angeles to New York.

The programmer leans over to the engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and is a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5."

Again, the engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep.

The programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $100!"

This catches the engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game.

The programmer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the programmer.

Now, it's the engineer's turn. He asks the programmer "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?"

The programmer looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers--all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $100. The engineer politely takes the $100 and turns away to try to get back to sleep. The programmer, more than a little miffed, shakes the engineer and asks "Well, so what's the answer?" Without a word, the engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the programmer $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Lie Detector Robot

A man returns from work with a lie detector robot. His 12 year old son comes home 3 hours late from school:

- Where’ve you been all this time? asks the father. – I was in the library doing homework!

The robot homes in on the son and slaps him… The father explains:

- my son, this robot is a lie detector! You’d better tell the truth… – Ok, I was at a mate’s and we were watching a film: the 10 commandments.

And whack! Another slap:

- Ow! Actually, it was an erotic film… – I’m ashamed of you! At your age, I never lied to my parents!

And whack! The robot gives the father a slap… the mother laughs and says:

He’s definitely your son!

And whack! And mom gets a slap…